ABSURDITY OF ASSUMPTION
I marvel at the assumptions people make. I completely understand why some of the old zen masters whacked their pupils over the head with their staves. I understand why the Dalai Lama said some people should just kill themselves. Have you ever been having a conversation with someone and thought to yourself, ‘where on earth are they getting this stuff?’ It hasn’t even the loosest connection to anything real. I mean, if you listen to people, and some of the incredible things they come up with. . . .it would be hilarious (and sometimes it really is) if it weren’t for the fact that they actually believe what they are saying. (And it’s generally considered very impolite to burst out laughing.) No amount of talking will help. Their minds are made up. They KNOW. But bless their hearts, they think they are communicating and that what they have to say is important.
And Kwan Yin help you if what they think they know concerns *you*. They KNOW what you are thinking. They KNOW what you are really doing. They KNOW and it’s their sacred mission to disabuse you of your illusions. This happens with people who have “known” you for years, and it happens with people who just met you ten minutes ago, people who couldn’t possibly know. It’s at this point that I usually begin strangling my purse or umbrella or whatever I happen to be carrying and profoundly wishing my cell phone would ring, or someone would come to the door, or a meteor would fall on me. What usually actually happens is that I am stunned into silence and looking at them with my mouth hanging open, and they either think I’m an idiot or that I agree with them. If I have the faintest inkling they think I agree with them I try to begin drooling or scratching my butt so they will dismiss me as an idiot.
It’s enough to make you wonder why people think they need drugs to reach an altered state of consciousness.
AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION:
(***I want to stress that this is an actual verbatim conversation, and that this is the total conversation, I have left nothing out, and that it comes from an area for discussing religion and spirituality.***)
Person A asks the question:
“I know how to make rain but there’s no cloud at the start of the god finger what do I do?”
Person B responds:
“If I eat a banana, why is there a snake in my garden?”
Person C responds:
“If anyone understands either of these questions, could you please translate?”
Person D repsonds:
“zoom nout nout using the pinch button, and see if you see any white clouds anywhere around your planet! You should be able to find at least one there are two though every time. You can move the cloud to where ever you want it. If that does not work try reinstalling the application.”
END of conversation
I rest my case.
My response (after I stopped laughing):
To Person A:
You are in an area for the discussion of religion and spirituality, NOT video games about playing god.
To Person B:
No, no, no. You’re confused. It was an apple that was eaten, and the snake was there first, and the garden belonged to a guy called “god”.
To Person C:
No one understands anything, apparently.
To Person D:
Reinstalling the application won’t help.
C:\ REALITY.SYS NOT FOUND – UNIVERSE HALTED
© Babaloo Bonzai and Babaloo Bonzai’s Zen Soup, 2010.